Bubble Squeak Pop
by Flaming Orange Rose
Summary: AU. Concierge Ichigo often got the most random requests from the hotel guests. His latest demand came from the penthouse apartment to run its occupant's bath. All Ichigo wanted to know was who it was.


**Pairing: AllxIchigo. **

**Summary: Concierge Ichigo often got the most random requests from the hotel guests, most just to test his capability to do his job. His latest demand came from the penthouse apartment to run its occupant's bath. **

**All Ichigo wanted to know was who the hell the bastard was, and why he wasn't getting paid enough for this.**

**A/N: This started as One-shot, but may be extended.**

**Warnings: Sexual content.**

**Bubble Squeak Pop**

'Good job, Kurosaki-kun! I knew I was right in hiring you~!'

'Urgh, tell me that after I get several pay rises, ya damn cheapskate!'

There was never a normal day for Ichigo Kurosaki, concierge of Tokyo's finest hotel 'The Soul Society'. Ichigo wasn't sure how many stars it had, all he knew was that while his job was a lot of hard work, it paid fairly well. _Fair_ being said at quite a stretch.

Not that his life was ever normal before, but he could honestly say that he never lived the same day twice. There was always a new businessman with some young chit that got bored waiting for the - usually - married man to get back to the hotel room and have their way with them. They got their kicks ordering room service from 'the hot bell boy with the orange hair'.

It more than pissed Ichigo off to hear another member of staff snicker as they relayed the bimbos' requests for him to serve them various sweets and wines. It was actually disgusting how they easily abandoned their 'benefactors' - however loosely termed - to pick up the next good looking thing hoping for little bit of attention.

Then it made him equally sick to see the pompous men try to sleaze their way on to him as well. Ichigo was more than certain that Urahara put something in the water to make everyone so god damned horny all the time.

It was a regular thing to get requests for 'the hot bell boy with the orange hair' to serve them strawberries and cream, pun intended. Damn that Urahara! Ever since he had put the sign up with Ichigo's name in glaring neon, the requests had increased. Especially when it travelled by word of mouth through the circles of egotistical bastards that ran their large companies like they owned the world. It also made them think that just because he was the concierge, he had to do _everything_ they asked.

While that may be true, there was a point where a line must be drawn.

It was a constant argument between Urahara and himself. While the idiotic man insisted that the guests knew that it was against company policy, Ichigo disagreed. He knew. He had to put up with the perverted old, young, men and women alike, trying to grope at his body at every chance they could.

There was practically a swarm of requests right after Urahara thought it would be good for business to have Ichigo pose in several possible outfits that were available for him to service in. Urahara had also thought that the guests would appreciate a catalogue containing every single outfit in an array of positions that made Ichigo's ears turn red at the thought.

He had fought tooth and nail for Urahara to limit the number of people who were aware of said abomination. Also, with it should come a document that stated _**clearly**_ that Ichigo would not perform acts of a sexual nature under any circumstances, no matter who they were or how much influence they had. Ichigo also made sure that a section continuing all the legal actions that would be taken should Ichigo feel threatened at all was highlighted as bright as his concierge sign.

There had only been a few incidents where Ichigo had to physically enforce the clauses that clearly stated that he was not an object to be controlled. Urahara had begged him every time to remain at his position and Ichigo had refused until the man had sent the vile harasser a hefty lawsuit.

Ichigo figured that Urahara must have the best lawyer in the city to get the likes of Sousuke Aizen to pay up for his actions. Ichigo realised that having a restraining order against Aizen would lose the hotel a lot of money so went against that option. Though he made sure that he was never alone around Aizen and that Ichigo would never be the one to cater to the man's requests.

All in all, his job was pretty hectic. He mainly worked the day shifts to avoid such events from occurring, much to the closet homosexuals displeasure. Or anyone else who just wanted to get into his pants. Though it didn't really work when the "day" shits were between the hours of 5 AM and sometimes 11 PM. Yes, 18 hours of non-stop people pleasing. Though he could triple pay and the next two days off.

A typical day would involve waking up Mr. Byakuya Kuchiki at precisely 6:30 to a light breakfast and all that mornings papers – after to seeing to himself, of course. Ichigo never understood why the man asked for him every time. In Ichigo's personal opinion, if Mr Kuchiki looked at him any colder then he would freeze to death. However, it was always the same routine every time Mr Kuchiki stayed at the hotel, which had increased in frequency since his late wife passed away. Ichigo made no comment on the subject. It was clear Mr Kuchiki strived for order and normalcy, and it was Ichigo's job to make sure that his guest was well catered for.

Next would be the various calls for an escort to the breakfast lounge. It was a daunting task and Ichigo had to deal with all the disappointment when he could not escort everyone who rang that morning. Which then filled up all the times through every meal the hotel served that day. Which still left even more disappointment when he couldn't stay for very long to small talk and ask them about their plans for that day. It also gave Urahara the chance to make even more profit off of the ladies who were desperate to spend more than five minutes with him. He enquired with returning guests whether they required an escort to tomorrow's meals. They booked their slots weeks in advanced, which confused the hell out of Ichigo.

At 10:15 he had tea with Aizen. Yes, the same perverted Sousuke Aizen that Ichigo filed a lawsuit against. As there was no restraining order in place, Aizen asked for Ichigo to sit with him for a minimum of 15 minutes to enjoy the day. The place changed as the seasons brought about their varied weather conditions. The hotel contained the most tranquil tearooms you could ever find this far into the city, prepared for every mood the guests were in.

Though however much the other guests protested, only the few who possessed a catalogue were eligible to request any stretch of time that usually didn't involve a lot of walking. The catalogues were gold dust among the guests and they would do almost anything to get their hands on one, even if it was to just look at the pictures. Not that many could afford the prices of the add ons – some thing Ichigo was really thankful for.

Aizen happened to be one of the few who did. Along with Mr Byakuya Kuchiki, Jaegerjaques – Ichigo refused to use his first name, Mr Nnoitra Jiruga, Mr Starrk – he had never told Ichigo his first name and those were the ones he saw on a semi-regular basis. Notice anything? Yes, they were all male. No matter how much Mr Kuchiki looked like a woman.

Plus, they all had their personal favourites, all information was kept under lock and key for the customer – and Ichigo's – privacy. Mr Kuchiki usually preferred a butler's uniform with the customary short pants. By short meaning just covering his ass shorts. On occasion he would spring for the maid's uniform, though the long skirt version.

Aizen changed his mind regularly. Ichigo just thought he was working his way right through the book – which was actually quite substantial as Urahara insisted on updating it per request and new ideas sprouting up. Which meant that every few weeks Ichigo would get dragged to some fancy photo studio to get the new glossy done.

At the moment he was interested in the more traditional Japanese outfits, female of course. Though Ichigo thought it very ridiculous when Aizen requested that he wear an _uchikake. _He had heavily protested and Aizen had rather reluctantly back down. Instead insisting that Ichigo wear a _susohiki_. It was such a fuss that some of the female staff had to be let off duties to get him into the thing. And while they did think he looked very pretty, they were so glad that it wasn't them. It had already caused wide spread hysteria as the other guests thought a princess was visiting for all the fuss it caused.

Needless to say, Aizen was one smug bastard when Ichigo turned up to his chosen tearoom with six armed guards and a roaring crowd surrounding him. Ichigo was flushed red from the embarrassment and the stifling heat under all the layers of thick silk he was wearing. Then he had had to dance for the bastard as well! He was so glad to get out of there and run back to his own room to shower and change.

He usually had an hour's break to eat and to get ready for the afternoon shift. Then it was on up to Mr Starrk's suite to wake him up. This was at no earlier than 12:30; and no he didn't have a medial condition or anything like that. He was just the laziest man Ichigo had ever met. When Mr Starrk was actually awake they had very intellectual conversations about anything that sprung to mind, mostly what Mr Starrk's company was working on that month – but that is classified information.

Mr Starrk liked the maid outfit – the shortened, western version – sometimes with a neko or another cute animal twist.

After he was put through, he then had to escort the lunch time appointments. That was when he was usually let off so he could sleep if he wished. Even though it didn't seem like long after his initial break, the lunch serving time ended at 2 PM. So that was a 9 hour shirt right there for you. Ichigo didn't tend to go out in the night's due to his early start the next morning, but did spend the afternoons relaxing and on his days off he went visiting his family back in Karakura Town. His sisters were just about ready to go to university so he wanted to spend more time with them before they left to go to another part of the country.

On the other days where he was needed for the night shift as well, he had to mentally prepare himself before he looked at his schedule. The whole way from his room he hoped and prayed that he had one particular customer.

That was Mr Nnoitra Jiruga. Ichigo had no idea how but the man made it physically possible to be totally bad ass and scary as hell, but be adorable cute at the same time. It baffled Ichigo every single time. Nnoitra was one of the semi-regulars that often asked for the more, _ahem_, revealing of all the costumes. But never the cross dressing ones. He always specified that Ichigo wear the more masculine versions of everything. He especially liked the ones that brought their own _weaponry_. Like the police, fireman, army, navy, marine, air force etc. He said it made him feel naughty or something along those lines.

Strangely Ichigo didn't mind his crude language or the ordering around because at the end of their time together Nnoitra looked quite sad and didn't quite want to let go of Ichigo's hand when he said goodbye. Ichigo, personally, thought that Nnoitra looked adorable when he did that. Not that he would ever utter that to another living person on fear of death, but you get the drift.

Then there was the person he didn't like to see on his request list. Jaegerjaques. Formally known as Mr Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. Ichigo didn't care how erotic Jaegerjaques's blue hair was … or how hot he looked without a shirt. Or how sexy he looked in all of his adverts. Bottom line, he was an ass and that's all there was to it. He made Ichigo feel like a cheap whore by constantly asking for the costumes that bore the most amount of skin and humiliating him in front of the other guests by making snide comments about how 'cheap' he was.

Granted, hardly anyone listened any more, but it still royally pissed him off when Jaegerjaques would lean over his desk the next day and say something about it. Over the top of his designer sunglasses that were always one his face regardless of what season it was. Who the hell wears sunglasses inside? Fucker.

All that aside, it just so happened to be one of those days where he had a request for about 9 o'clock that evening. It was just after the lunch fiasco where he had to wait while two women fought it out over who he was supposed to be escorting at that particular time. Somehow he knew that Urahara had put them in rooms opposite each other because these ladies fought about everything under the sun while they stayed in the hotel. They were well known for it and would complain if it was any different.

Urahara knew this; the bastard. He found great amusement when Ichigo would have to take the both of them down while they argued across his body about how he really wanted to be with them. All Ichigo thought was how glad he was that all the entrance ways were very wide as e ladies were not small, shall we say. In the most polite way possible, five of Ichigo in a line shoulder to shoulder wouldn't compare. And they were short so he dwarfed them, which wasn't easy.

Well back to Urahara and his annoying habit to screw with Ichigo's life. Ichigo had been on the way up to his room to sleep his life away when the man had sprung out of nowhere to tell him to recheck his schedule. Ichigo had made his irritation clearly known – he dumped a plant on the man's head – and trudged back to his desk.

Renji, who was about to take the next shift, looked up at him and was about to ask what he was doing. Ichigo silenced him with a glare that promised a vicious beating should he think about opening his mouth. He knew Renji liked him. He also knew that Renji knew he wasn't interested. So why wouldn't he just give up already? It was one part of his job that he definitely didn't enjoy, having to deal with Renji's constant staring at his ass. It was bad enough when the whole hotel of perverts – Urahara had hit him when he said it out loud once, on the top of his voice – decided that his ass was good entertainment. He didn't need it from the people he worked with.

Renji had asked why he let Urahara do it. Ichigo had, once again, glared and simply stated that Urahara was the one paying him. Who the hell would screw that up when Urahara paid him more than any of the other staff. Another thing that he would never tell another living person. Especially Renji, seems how Renji had to deal with all the pissed off guests who wanted Ichigo as an escort to dinner. A great hit to the ego when they constantly rejected his offers to escort them himself. He laughed it off, but Ichigo knew that he was more disappointed about it than he let on.

So Ichigo looked at that evening's schedule and saw that there was a newly added entry. And all it said was 'Penthouse – Guest wants Ichigo to run a bath for when they get back. 9 PM.' Details of how they'd like it and what they wanted him to wear followed, but Ichigo was to furious to glance at them yet.

'URAHARA! I'm going to kill you so slowly and painfully it will be beyond X-Rated!'

'Ichigo-kun, I hardly think that's necessary …' Urahara popped up, minus the plant, on the other side of the desk with his fan drawn.

Ichigo reached over and grabbed the lapels of the man's suit and drew him close. 'There isn't even a name on this, you bastard. How the hell am I supposed to know who the hell it is I'm serving?'

Urahara fluttered his fan, eyes hidden under that ridiculous bucket hat, and stayed quiet. That was when Ichigo started getting suspicious. Urahara was never quiet and didn't hold back information about the guests that were essential for Ichigo's job.

'Who is it, Urahara? I know you know so why are you holding back on me?'

'Ichigo … the guests …' Ichigo flicked his eyes back to Renji who was looking at the amount of people who had started to gather and huffed under his breath. He turned to look back at Urahara, only to see that the man had disappeared into literally thin air.

Ichigo growled and noted down all the requirements for that evening exactly as it was written and grumbled the whole way to his room. His room which was one of the largest – perks f the job – that had one of the biggest walk-in wardrobes that he had ever seen. When his sisters had come to see his room he had lost Yuzu for half an hour while see was twirling around in one of the dresses that was in there.

Karin had looked at him once and automatically picked out the most embarrassing of the costumes and raised an eyebrow. Ichigo had to snatch it out of her hands and stuff it behind some other before Yuzu saw. Naturally, he kept his more innocent sister far away from those which had a rightful place in the back of a seedy sex shop. Karin, however, found them without a second of being in there. It was the first and last time they had ever been anywhere near his closet.

He selected out the specified one and made his way up to the top floor with all his supplies in hand. The costume was safely stowed in a black dress bag. Again for the guest and Ichigo's privacy. He had learnt after the first day that it was very unwise to walk around in the costumes. Everyone assumed it was okay to drag him into their rooms for a _**'private photo shoot'**_,said with heavy sarcasm.

He quickly got to work after the elevator had opened out into the main room of the penthouse suite, which happened to cover the entire floor. Ichigo had been here so many times it hardly affected him any more, so he quickly made his way to the bathroom.

One draw back when it came to running a 'bath' in this monster of a room was that the bath itself was a sunken swimming pool. Complete with a waterfall at one corner. Ichigo had to go up at around 4 so it would be full in time, plus filled with the required extras. Ichigo knew from experience that when an order said 'Be ready when I get back' they meant so they could walk in straight away as soon as they got through the bathroom door. There was no time for 'It'll finishing filling in a minute' or 'Give me five more minutes'. The helpful thing was the waterfall kept the water at a constant temperature so Ichigo didn't have to worry about checking it every five minutes.

He stepped outside the room to put on his costume and dust it off to perfection. He got ready to wait for the arrival of his mystery guest in the small cloakroom beside the bathroom, he had more than enough lectures about how steam ruins the outfits from Ishida Uryuu. The designer and maker of every item in Ichigo's wardrobe, including his casual clothes.

At around 8:30 Ichigo walked in to find the pool full and proceed to add at the extras. He stood bolt upright when he heard the opening of the elevator. Giving the room and himself a once over, Ichigo waited in anticipation for his guest. Holding his breath almost and preparing himself for whoever may appear.

Ichigo's eyes widened when the first foot appeared into the light of the bathroom.

'You …'

* * *

AN: Well, I'll just have to see what you all think. Plus, you'll have to vote for which one you want it to be.

Byakuya

Aizen

Starrk

Nnoitra

Grimmjow

Mystery #1

Mystery #2

Vote for as many as you like, even take a guess at the other two, I won't reveal unless they are obviously chosen!

FlamingOrangeRose -x


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